(via melissatheamazing)
can i just have alison brie as a birthday present this year please
(Source: thecosmicvoyager, via fuckyeahalisonbrie)
(Source: klainney, via melissatheamazing)
so i had a nap on someone’s lounge chair for 20 minutes
and i dribbled a bit (don’t judge me)
and i ran off
YOLO
omfg if you’re ever at my place please remind me to never let you sit on my sofa when you’re drowsy
(Source: robinisthebride, via communitythings)
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ALLEN IVERSON SUPRISES PHILLY
The 76ers received a pregame boost before Game 6 tipped off in Philly Wednesday night.
Sporting a Lou Williams jersey and a Sixers hat, Sixers hero Allen Iversonwalked out the game ball as the crowd erupted in applause. Iverson presented the game ball and lots of hugs for referee Joey Crawford, Doug Collins and the Philadelphia huddle.
While it was wonderful to see Iverson again, it was bittersweet to have to watch him walk out of the huddle and off of the court. After falling out of the NBA, he is still eager to play the game and said so during an in-game interview with ESPN’s Lisa Salters. When Salters said she hasn’t heard him say he’s retired, he responded by saying, “I’m not using that word [retired]. I want to play basketball so bad. The way it is right now, I’ve accepted the fact that [NBA] may not happen, but I still want to play basketball.”
There are so many Iverson fans out there who feel the same way. With the dismal shooting and scoring struggles in the first half, the Sixers probably wished they were able to tell him to suit up and get on the floor.
Maybe one day.
(Source: bleacherreport.com)
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
reblogging for the story
(Source: secretsbest, via mrsmalfoyodair)
| I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. |
| When chemists die, they barium. |
| Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. |
| I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. |
| I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. |
| This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. |
| I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. |
| I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. |
| They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. |
| We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. |
| Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? |
| Broken pencils are pointless. |
| I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. |
| What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. |
| I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. |
| All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. |
| I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. |
| Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. |
| A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. |
| The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault. |
| Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. |
seven lesser known coldplay songs that i’ve found myself hearing a lot in the last few days.
1. Square One
2. Up In Flames
3. A Message
4. Swallowed in the Sea
5. Warning Sign
6. Everything’s Not Lost
7. U.F.O.
(Source: fuckin-flow)